When to Break Up
Should you break up with your partner? While breaking up is a personal thing, here are some common relationship-ending situations when you fail to find signs he is interested in you anymore.
Violence
If your partner is emotionally or physically abusive, you should make immediate arrangements to leave the relationship. After all, life is too precious to be battered, bullied, or hit. No matter the excuses your partner may make about his or her abusive behavior, rest assured in a healthy relationship violence of any type does not exist. These are signs he is interested no further in you.
Financial Infidelity
When your partner lies about money and puts the two of you in unnecessary debt, it may be time to say goodbye. Financial infidelity is an increasingly difficult problem for couples, and is every bit as hurtful as a physical affair. If your partner doesn’t respect your relationship enough to care about your financial future, it may be time to seek counseling or even to break up.
Emotional Affair
It’s difficult to have a happy relationship after one partner has had an emotional affair. Before you accuse your partner of emotional cheating, become familiar with the signs he is interested or not. It is possible to move beyond an emotional affair. However, your partner must acknowledge their infidelity and make steps with you to improve your relationship. If he or she refuses, it may be time to say goodbye.
Cheating
There is not a great deal of grey area when it comes to the subject of physical cheating. Recognize the signs he is interested or not and immediately confront your partner. Don’t turn your back or let the affair continue without trying to discuss the situation with your partner. Even if your partner confesses the affair and ends it, you may need to break up and move on to a trustworthier partner.
Different Relationship Goals
In order to make it for the long haul, couples must be on the same page when it comes to their future. Things like marriage, children, faith, and financial stability are important discussion points for any couple. If your life goals are different from your partners, it may be time to go your separate ways.
Not in Love
In today’s world, many couples stay together simply because they are afraid to be alone. If you’re unhappy with the way your partnership has progressed, take time to talk to your partner and access the situation. It’s never too late to start again if you find signs he is interested no more in you.
No matter what the reason for breaking up with your partner, weigh the decision carefully. Remember that there is no shame in ending a relationship on good terms so you both can move on to someone better suited for you. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy.
How to Get Over a Break Up
Neil Sedaka definitely got it right when he sang that “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” Whether the two of you were in love or only dating for a few months, simply put, breakups are difficult. You may be feeling pain, unsettling feelings, and like your world has turned upside down, but it isn’t the end of the world (even though it might feel like it). Here are some ways to help you can get over that nasty breakup:
Get Closure
Is there something you need to let your ex know? Are there unanswered questions about your breakup? Dr. Phil recommends identifying your Minimal Effectiveness Response (MER), which is the least thing you can do that allows you to get closure. The MER concept aims at satisfying your need for resolution and conserving your resources. Getting closure will help you move on.
Don’t be a Stalker
According to The Love Council at iVilliage.com, it’s best to cut all ties with your ex. This means no unsolicited phone calls, text messages, or Facebook messages. And try your hardest not follow your ex on Twitter. The two of you can be friends, however it’s important to keep in mind that you are broken up. Things probably aren’t going to be the same, so it’s best to give each other some space for a while.
Surround Yourself With Family and Friends
There’s nothing better than being around people who you love and love you back. According to Camille Chatterjee of Psychology Today, “a good group of friends may safeguard you against the damaging effects of stress.” So go ahead and hit the town with some friends or have dinner and movie with your best friend.
Start a New Hobby
According to Sania of popular dating website, DatingTips.com, it’s important to start planning pleasurable activities to take your mind off of loss. Pick up that guitar you’ve been meaning to learn how to play, or start working on that novel you’ve wanted to write. Now that you have more time on your hands, you can finally start embracing your passions and discovering new interests.
Try Online Dating
Once you’re ready to start dating again, try registering with popular dating sites such as Match.com, eHarmony.com, or Jdate.com. If you’re not looking to spend money, there are also plenty of free dating websites out there. You never know who you might meet and you may find signs he is interested in you.
Put a Smile on Your Face
Finally, even if you don’t feel like it, just smile right now (really!). According to the facial feedback hypothesis, “involuntary facial movements provide sufficient peripheral information to drive emotional experience.” (Bernstein 2000). In other words, facial expressions influence emotions. Smiling can actually help you feel happier and more confident. However, this doesn’t provide a long-term cure, but it definitely has transient effects on emotion.
Once you’ve accepted the relationship is over, the hardest part is done. These effective tips will help pave a new path to greener pastures. It may take some time, but you’re moving in the right direction.
