Here we will discuss when it is to feel the ISTP relationships or ESFJ relationships are over. ISTP means Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving while ESFJ refers to Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, Judgment .
When couple experiences difficulties it is often hard to step back and see the wider picture. Tender memories flood into your imagination alongside bitter reminders of the problems between you.
Is Love Always Enough?
If you are deciding whether or not you wish to remain with your partner during a relationship crisis, it is important to gain perspective to enable you to take the right decision. Even the happiest relationships have difficult times, and the most unsuitable partners can evoke sweet memories and genuine love. If there is turmoil in your difficult relationship it may not suffice to rely on your feelings alone when taking a decision.
No Magic Relationship Formula
There is no magic formula to help you understand with certainty whether he or she is right for you. But this technique may help you get a longer-term, more reliable view of the relationship. Carry this exercise out in writing, when you are feeling calm. Avoid periods when you are angry or very upset as you will find it difficult to be balanced and reasonable.
What You Need vs. What You Want
First, make a list of what you need in life, things that you need to either have, or have the freedom to work towards in order to be happy. For example, your list might include “a close group of friends and family nearby”, “quality time together at home”, though of course this list is very personal!
Then make a list of things you would like in life, but can live without and still be happy. For example your list might include, “travel” and “a busy social life”, or perhaps these items would appear in your needs list.
Can You Have What you Need with your Partner?
List the positive and negative qualities of your partner wherever these qualities relate to an item in your “wants” or “needs” list. Does your partner support you in meeting this need? Or perhaps he interferes in some way, even if unintentionally? For example if you need to meet up with friends regularly in order to be happy, but in some way your partner makes this uncomfortable for you, then you may feel unable to meet your need.
Does your Partner Meet Some of your “Wants”
Repeat the exercise with your wants. It may be that your partner supports you in meeting your needs, but not your wants. This is still a good basis for happiness in your relationship. However if your “wants” are met, but not your “needs” then there may be some more fundamental issues to consider in your relationship. Perhaps after enjoying a joint love of foreign travel, you discover more fundamental incompatibilities that make one or both of you unhappy.
No-one is Perfect – Is it Over?
Of course no-one is perfect, and this exercise should only be used to help gain perspective rather than as a failsafe answer to your relationship questions. However, if you find that you partner does not give you the support you need in meeting your fundamental needs then you have a basis for discussion with your partner, or for considering your future. And your course your partner has his or her own needs and wants; why not encourage him or her to do the same exercise?
In Summary
It is hard to get a clear view of your relationship during crisis, but by analysing your needs and wishes, and by taking a calm look at the qualities and weaknesses of your partner, this simple technique will help you gain valuable perspective on your relationship when you need it most.
How to Get Over a Breakup and Move On
Hearing the words, “I don’t think this is working,” or “It’s not you. It’s me,” can mean months of sobbing into ice cream cartons, playing sad music and gaining weight or it can be a way to reevaluate life and relationship goals.
Take Time to Grieve After a Breakup
Someone who ends a serious relationship should allow herself time to grieve. Breaking up means more than the end of a romantic relationship for most people. It can mean losing a best friend. It’s not necessary to take this loss lightly or move on too soon. Eat comfort foods, listen to sappy breakup songs and watch romantic movies while crying into a bucket of popcorn for a few days. However, it’s best to start practicing healthy habits again as soon as possible.
If someone starts to display signs of depression after the breakup, then it might be time to get help from a therapist. It’s normal to experience symptoms of depression such as issues eating and sleeping, feelings of worthlessness and irritability for a few days or a week but longer than that is a red flag. Also, if someone has thoughts of suicide or feels completely hopeless after a breakup, he should seek help from a licensed mental health professional immediately.
Journal Feelings About the Relationship and Breakup
Use time after a breakup to evaluate the relationship and what went wrong. Write down the breakup conversation and what was said by both parties. What reasons were given for the breakup? It’s possible to learn from a breakup and not repeat similar mistakes. Not everyone is honest during breakup conversations, so it might not be helpful to rehash it. It depends on each individual situation.
Someone who wants to say things to the person who broke up with her could write a letter in the journal. Instead of sending the letter, rip it up or color over it with permanent black marker. Also, use the journal to describe current feelings and wants and needs for future relationships.
End Communication After a Romantic Relationship
Almost everyone experiences that moment where all they want to do is call the person who broke up with them, just to hear the person’s voice or try to convince the person to take them back. Continuing communication with an ex usually prolongs the healing process. If the ex calls, don’t answer, block the calls or ask him politely not to call.
Attempting to stay friends is a bad idea. People who’ve had serious romantic relationships usually have a hard time hearing about their ex’s new relationships and dating life. If both people agree, being friends can happen after both parties have had time to heal and move on. Sometimes it can be hard to cut off all communication. For instance, people who work together. In that case, keep communication to a minimum.
Practice Healthy Eating, Exercising, and Sleeping Habits to Improve Mood
People who fall into unhealthy eating and sleeping patterns after a breakup might end up feeling worse about themselves, gaining weight and becoming depressed. Even if things seem hopeless, make an attempt to eat healthy meals, exercise on a regular basis, and get eight hours of sleep. These three things will improve energy and mood which can help cope with a nasty breakup.
